


The Power of Forgiveness

by Donny15



Series: Adventures in the Devildom [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent, Hurt/Comfort, redemption arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23514982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donny15/pseuds/Donny15
Summary: Takes place between lessons 16 and 17, definitely spoilers for that.Forgiveness is difficult, especially when the person doesn't actually deserve it. Our M/C is struggling to forgive someone who did him very, very wrong; is that even the right choice when he's plagued by nightmares each night?
Series: Adventures in the Devildom [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689148
Comments: 9
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again, spoilers for lesson 16!! BIG SPOILERS from here on out!
> 
> Look, I love Belphie and Beel. I would kill to be sandwiched between them, to curl up with them, to cook for Beel and cuddle with Belphie. BUT I don’t like how the game handled the whole death thing. The main character would for sure have some trauma, and maybe some other issues. I’ve never written a redemption arc, nor have I written the act of forgiving someone for something terrible they’ve done… but I tried to write this how I personally would react, and how I would think about it and try to make up with Belphie. Also this takes place only a few days after the M/C’s death. So, enjoy! No smut, lots of angst, and tooth-rotting fluff at the end!

_The malice in his eyes, the darkness… you could tell, in that moment, he hated you more than anything. His open arms looked inviting, but… something was off. Your mind shouted at you, this is wrong, get out of here, run! But you felt yourself step forward, with a comforting smile on your face, and wrap your arms around Belphegor_

“Ah, this really brings back memories. I wonder how long it’s been since I’ve touched a human?” _You feel his arms tighten, and try to pull away, but he’s too strong._ “So, M/C...” _Belphegor shifts into his demon form, and the look he gives you… oh gods, it’s the first time you’ve seen such evil in someone’s face,_ “…how can I express how I’m feeling right now? What can I do?” _You feel the aura of malice around him and struggle in his grip, to no avail._

_Your consciousness begins to fade out as you feel your spine snap, and you cry out in pain. You can hear Belphegor laughing hysterically as he crushes the life out of you…_

_A loud scream is heard in the distance, who could that be?_

The sound jolts you awake, and you find that it is, in fact, YOU who is screaming. You fall silent and whimper, still feeling the aftereffects. Covered in sweat and shaking with fear, you doubt you’ll ever be able to erase that memory from your mind.

A gasping breath escapes your lips, and you reach for your D.D.D. and check the time. _Right about time for Beel’s midnight snack. He always makes me feel safe. But…_ You shudder again at the thought of sleeping in the same room with Belphegor.

Despite Simeon recommending you act as a bridge, you couldn’t bear to be in the same room with Belphegor. You actively avoided him, always had some excuse… even if there was someone else in the room. In an attempt to avoid being confronted about it too, you had been staying in your room, only leaving for food and classes. It reminded the brothers of how you had been when you first arrived.

They all may have noticed but no one said anything about it. For that, you were grateful. And you couldn’t talk to any of them about it, after all they all seemed to just… welcome him back! It was easy to forget they’re demons sometimes, but this… this seems like just what you’d expect of demons. Of course injury and death would be forgotten, even if every version of you had died you were sure they’d just get over it, happy to be reunited with their brother. You let out a few quiet, gasping sobs, before taking in a deep, shaky breath. You swing your legs over the bed and stand up.

It was wobbly, and you were feeling lightheaded from the fear, but managed to find your feet. You put on some pajama pants over your boxers and threw on a shirt. _If anyone’s up, it’s Levi… and he won’t expect an explanation. I could just watch him play probably._

You shoot him a text.

You: Levi, you up?

It takes a few moments, but he does respond.

Levi: Yeah, just trying to beat the last level of Catherine on hard.

Levi: *sticker of dead demon with x's for eyes*

You: Nice! Who’s ending are you going for??

Levi: I don’t like either of them, buuuut… I do think Catherine is pretty cute.

Levi: And at least she didn’t LIE to me and try to manipulate me!! Ugh, both of them suck!

Levi: Why are you texting me anyway?

You: I just… don’t really wanna be alone. I won’t bother you, though – I’ll just sit there quietly.

Levi: Just don’t distract me, and we’ll be good.

You: *thanks sticker*

You wander down the hallway slowly, darkness making it near impossible to see but you basically have the place memorized by now. It’s your home, after all. Regardless of all this weirdness, it does still feel like home.

When you reach Levi’s room, you knock on the door. Surprisingly, he isn’t the one to answer; instead you see Belphegor. He looks at you, seemingly showing no emotion beyond exhaustion, and opens the door for you to enter, “Evening, M/C.”

The sight of him makes you freeze unintentionally, his voice is warm, but all you can hear is the sadistic way he spoke as he squeezed the life out of you, as he mocked you for being just some dumb human, too easy to trick. You let out a quiet squeak and back up. Concern flashes across his face. He opens his mouth to speak, but you interrupt him.

“Um, I, uh, almost forgot… snacks. Yeah, I’m pretty hungry and guessing you both are too? I’ll… I’ll be back.” You manage a wave and turn to leave, before he can question your behavior.

Upon turning to leave the room, your legs begin to shake again making it hard to walk. You stare at the ground, willing your brain to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Somehow, against all odds, you make it nearly to your room… when you run into something.

You look up, realizing it’s a some _one_ rather than a some _thing._ Your favorite gluttony demon. “Oh, M/C. Are you up getting a snack too? If so, I just cleaned out the fridge. I don’t know if there’s anything left.” Of course his hands are both full of food. He at least has the grace to look a _little_ guilty.

A quiet laugh leaves your mouth, “no Beel, I…” You pause to think. _I comforted him when he had a nightmare, surely… surely he’d be willing to sit with me at least? It’s worth a shot anyway._ “I had a nightmare. I was heading back to my room, Levi was… uh… too busy,” _Well, it’s not a lie…,_ “and everyone else is asleep. I was going to go back to my room, but… since you’re up, can I sleep with you tonight?”

There’s a pause, silence, while he contemplates. After a few seconds he nods and smiles at you, shifting to hold his food with one hand and hold his other out to you. You take his hand, and the two of you walk to his room together in silence. You’ll deal with Belphegor and Levi in the morning; for now, you just wanted to rest with Beel.


	2. Chapter 2

Once in his room, he flicks on the light and you can now make out the details. Naturally, he’s wearing light blue boxers with cartoon burgers and fries on them. You nearly stop breathing though when you see he isn’t wearing a shirt, and you have to take a deep breath to calm yourself. You knew he looked amazing, both because even with clothes on he looked great but also you saw the picture Mammon snapped of him and sent to the group chat. But neither of those things prepared you for this. You are THIRSTY for him!

Beel’s face is dusted with red and he clears his throat, you immediately turn red to match him and stumble backwards, “Sor… Sorry. I, uh, I’m very tired right now,” With near perfect timing, you find yourself yawning at the end of your sentence.

“That’s… okay.” There’s an awkward silence before Beel motions for you to follow him, “come on. Upstairs we have a couch, and a TV. Do you want to watch something? I can share a bit of food too.” You can tell he’s already trying to cheer you up, and it’s hard but you manage to smile back. It isn’t genuine, though. If he notices, he says nothing and you follow him up the spiral staircase.

* * *

The two of you settle on the couch. You haven’t been up here, even when sharing a room you felt it was a violation of privacy without an invitation. That doesn’t stop you from, after getting cozy enough, curling up on the couch against Beel’s side. You don’t register what’s on the TV, and anytime you come close to dozing off, you wake with a start. It’s almost as if your brain is trying to keep you from reliving the memory again.

Beel’s mouth is full of food, he swallows it quickly and looks at you curiously after feeling you jump for the seemingly hundredth time. “M/C, if it would help to talk about it… I’m happy to listen. This is one of Belphie’s movies anyway, I don’t particularly care about what we’re watching.”

You flinch at the mention of Belphegor and open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You close your mouth before trying to open it again, failing this time as well. _If he knows I’m terrified of his twin, his closest brother, he’ll never forgive me. I can’t… I can’t do that. What if he hates me? Or they make me leave?_

The silence worries Beel, so he reaches out to hug you. As his arms close around you a stab of fear shoots through you, “NO!” You push his arms away and scramble backwards as fast as humanly possible. The air is thin, and it’s suddenly hard to breath.

Either way, he looks at you, hurt and concern evident in his eyes while you sob on his couch at 3 in the morning. He looks almost afraid to say or do anything. He does, however, hold out a bag of chips towards you. Food always makes him feel better after all, maybe it’d help you too? You barely even register his offering.

You want to apologize, but can’t stop the tears. You curl into yourself, trying to hide in the couch and to make yourself as small as possible. Through gasping sobs, broken apologies leave your lips. Beel isn’t able to make anything out of your words beyond apologies, his name, and Belphegor's name.

Eventually you cry yourself dry, Beel has gone back to eating but keeps his eyes focused on you. The movie had been turned off at some point and he’s looking at you seriously, “are you okay?” You begin to try and fake it, nodding your head, but the disappointed look on his face makes you sigh, and you turn the nod into shaking your head no.

“Beel, I’m so sorry. I thought… I thought I was calmer.” You begin to stand, “I should… just go back to my room…” as you turn to leave, you can practically feel the demon’s gaze boring holes through your back.

“Tell me what’s wrong, first. Did someone hurt you?”

He notices you grimace, and realizes he’s right.

“Who? Who was it? I’ll make sure it never happens again, I’ll deal with them.” He’s sweet, but you know he’ll be mad if you tell him. But he might not forgive you if you don’t, either…

Throughout this, you fail to notice the sound of the door opening and closing, and footsteps moving into the room.

Your voice sounds weak and hoarse in your ears, from all the crying and screaming you’ve done tonight probably. “I… I remember. I can’t shake it… When… Belphegor… crushed me. Or the other me? I don’t know what happened, but I can still feel it… and I have nightmares every night. Or, nearly every night. I know, I know he’s safe… I know he won’t hurt me again, but I can’t shake the memory, the feeling of him squeezing the life out of me…”

Now that you’ve started, you know it’ll be near impossible for anyone to stop you, “and you, all of you, just forgave him right away! You were all more concerned with the conflict in your family to care that I had been killed! I did what I could to repair the relationships, it was the right thing to do, but all of you just accepted what he did, without even questioning it! And now, now…”

You start to cry again, but you feel rage building rather than the sadness and fear from before, “now I understand, that I shouldn’t have trusted ANY of you so easily. You’re _DEMONS_ after all!” The word demons leaves your mouth like vitriol. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else though.”

For a moment, in the room, all you can hear is your own labored breathing. On the one hand, it felt good to let that all out. But on the other hand… the look on Beelzebub’s face is heart wrenching. He looks like he’s about to speak, but pauses, trying to think of the right words to say.

“Don’t bother. I’m leaving. Good night, Beelzebub.” You hadn’t used anything but his nickname in months, and he’s left there wondering why that hurts more than anything else you said…

When you turn around, you see Belphegor at the top of the stairs. His expression is unreadable. _He’s probably glad he was able to fuck me up this bad, with how much he hates me and all._ Without a word you storm past him, slamming the door once you’re out in the hallway.

You make it back to your room without incident, and once safe in there you let out a breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding. Slumping against the door, you let out another sob. You never leave that spot throughout the night, scared and ashamed of how the twins would act. Of course they’d both hate you now, of course they wouldn’t want anything to do with you now. Why should you care when you meant so little to them?

After that outburst, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were sent home. The thought is somehow worse than the memory of death, and you cry yourself to sleep sitting against the door, alone and cold.


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing you notice in the morning is how sore you feel, and how your face feels… heavy. It always does after a good cry. _Was it good, though?_ You wonder. _Eh, at least I got it all out. That makes it good, right?_

You aren’t quite sure what to expect, but know that you need to get it over with. With a sigh, you pick your D.D.D. up and take it off the charger, unlocking it. There were classes today, but it was past breakfast and even if you did show up, you’d be late; 12:36 pm. You were relieved that no one else would be home, and that you missed breakfast; you don’t think you’d be ready to talk about last night yet.

There is a downside to all this, however… you have missed messages from all the brothers, Simeon, and Solomon. Everyone had sent multiple, leaving you with 23 missed texts. You chose to leave them unread, for now. You don’t have the spoons for that right now. Maybe later you will, or tomorrow?

It takes a minute, but you manage to get up on your feet. With a deep breath you try to calm the anxiety building inside you, and open the door.

Luckily you see no one. Hopefully they’re all at school or in their rooms. On the floor you see an offering, probably from Beelzebub; a pile of snacks with a note.

_I got some food that I know you like._   
_Hopefully you’re feeling better today…_   
_I was worried when you weren’t at breakfast._   
_Can we talk tonight?_   
_Please, I just want to know you’re okay._   
_I never meant to upset you._   
_\- Beel_

You grimace, knowing you hurt Beelzebub – the literal living embodiment of a teddy bear – causes a pang of sadness inside your chest. Still… it was probably good you finally said something. _I know it’s good to be honest, even about that sort of thing… I still feel bad. But I shouldn’t, it needed to be said!_

Hesitantly, you step out of your room into the hallway. You make sure to look carefully, and make sure there’s no one around. Your growling stomach guides you into the kitchen, where you find leftovers covered in the fridge with your name written on them.

_Maybe I could have said it better, though…_

You sit at the table with your food, eating slowly and letting the weight of last night sink over you. _Well either way, for better or for worse, I finally said something. Now we wait…_

After eating, you check who had messaged you. You started with Simeon’s, as that seemed like the least laborious person to message.

Simeon: M/C, Beel and Belphie mentioned what happened. I wanted to message you, and make sure you’re doing okay. I know that living here must be stressful. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know I’m here. Can I help you at all?

You: I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I want to forgive Belphegor, but there’s nothing he can do to take back the trauma. He literally killed me, Simeon! Even an angel would have trouble forgetting that, right?

Simeon: You aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do. I don’t blame you, in fact I was amazed initially with how much forgiveness and grace you had shown towards him. It’s no wonder that you’re upset with him. These things just take time and communication.

You: But I can’t even be in the same room with him right now! I know better than to be scared of him, but I can’t erase the pain from my memories!

You: What he did was terrible, evil, and I can’t just forgive him until he can prove that he deserves it.

Simeon: I don’t disagree that what he did was wrong, and it must be hard remembering it every night. You are under no obligation to forgive him, you won’t be doing anything wrong if you choose not to.

You: But… I don’t hate him! I should… I really should. He’s been nothing but gentle since.

You: He’s selfish, yes, but… I don’t want to cause problems here. I don’t want Beel, or anyone else, to feel they have to pick sides.

Simeon: There’s no right answer here, M/C. Do what you feel you need to, to heal. No matter the result, if you do that… you’ll be taking care of yourself. You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s emotions, just your own.

You: I wish I could just forgive him.

Simeon: For yourself or everyone else?

You: …

You: Both. I guess. Thank you, Simeon. It’s complicated, but… you’re right. I think.

As you finish your meal, you ponder what to do next…


	4. Chapter 4

Most of the day is spent hiding in your room. Eventually though, you realize you will have to leave. Beel gave you a ton of snacks, but that’s not enough to keep you going… you need real food. Luckily in all your time here, you had been saving up Grimm and have more than enough to buy a meal at Hell’s Kitchen.

Before the brothers get back from school, you get dressed and leave the house. After all, you aren’t quite ready to deal with them. You need some more time to yourself first, to think about the right course of action.

You spend the time at Hell’s Kitchen, searching up the process of forgiveness, and is it worth it to forgive someone. There was nothing solid, no step-by-step guide, and he didn’t deserve to be forgiven, anyways! You groan in frustration, planting your face onto the table in front of you. You had finished your meal long ago, but were afraid of returning home.

_Of course, they’ll have to close eventually and make me leave… but until then, I can hide here._

* * *

_He isn’t home yet…_ Satan checks his D.D.D. and sees that M/C still hadn’t responded and scowls. _Of course he hasn’t… even though we’re all worried. Where could he be?_

Satan sets down the book he had been trying to read and stands, irritation hiding his worry. He leaves his room, and the house – passing by Beel in the dining room and Mammon in the entryway, returning from his modeling gig. Satan pushes past him and leaves the house without a word.

 _No way you can just ignore this, M/C._ Any demons walking in his path know to step aside. When he seems this angry it’s best to just avoid him. _Either way, you’ll have to make a decision._

Satan goes into every store and restaurant between the House of Lamentation and the school. _He couldn’t have gone much farther, right?_

Finally he stops outside of Hell’s Kitchen, the last place on his list.

As he steps into the restaurant and looks around, he spots you – head resting on the table. Satan knows he isn’t the best at dealing with emotions, but this whole mess is making it impossible to focus on his book… and the truth is, he cares for you.

“M/C.”

You sit up with a start, “S-Satan? I… Uh…” You look down at the ground, “I…”

“Look, M/C,” he kneels down to your level and lifts your chin up, “whether you forgive him, and us, or not is up to you. But you can’t run from it forever. If you’re mad, then do something about it besides moping alone! That won’t solve the problem.”

You try to push him away but don’t say anything; you turn your head out of his grasp and merely go back to scrolling on your D.D.D.

He sighs and sits in the chair across from you. You eye him curiously then look back to your D.D.D. “Well, I can’t very well leave you here alone. You could get hurt. I won’t force you to talk, but…” His eyes wander for a moment, before settling back on yours. He looks sheepish, apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were hurting. You acted like everything was fine. I didn’t think it needed to be brought up.”

This time when you look at him, you’re glaring. “Belphegor did something evil, and you all act as though there’s nothing wrong. How the fuck can you justify that? Even if I DIDN’T remember dying, what he did was still terrible! And none of you care. Here I thought,” you choke back a sob and look away, lowering your voice, “I thought I was important to all of you.”

Satan thinks for a moment before responding, and when he does his voice is quiet, “you have every right to be mad. I would be too, in your position. I can’t speak for everyone, but…” He shifts awkwardly in his seat, “I personally enjoy your company, and you mean a lot more to me than I ever would have imagined. You don’t need to forgive us, any of us, but at least come home?” When he initially came in, he had noticed some low level demons sizing you up, likely looking for a meal. “You’ll need to come home anyways, once this place closes.”

You stay silent for a moment, hoping to make him wait. Finally, not meeting his eyes you stand. “Fine, but you can’t make me talk about it.”

“That’s fair, you should only deal with it when you’re ready,” At that he stands, looking almost hesitant. You motion for him to follow and the two of you head back in silence, you make sure to keep some distance between the two of you. _If he chose to hurt me, this space wouldn't really help... but it feels safer._ It’s rare that Satan seems unsure of himself, but he does during this walk. You stay silent and he knows better than to break the silence.

You both enter the house, the smell of food is wafting through the house and you figure they must be eating. You sigh, _shit… I have to go through there to get to my room._

With a deep breath, you straighten up and walk forward with a purpose, without waiting for Satan. As you step through the doors, there are a few glances your way. Mammon immediately looks down at his plate, Lucifer gives you a smile, as if there’s nothing at all wrong. Asmo looks at you as if he’s about to say something, but thinks better of it and looks away. Levi pours all his attention into his game. Belphegor has his head resting on the table, seemingly asleep. And Beel pulls out the empty chair next to him and swallows the food in his mouth, “there’s still enough left for you, M/C.” He looks over what’s left on the table, furrowing his brows. For him it wouldn’t even be a full serving, but to you there’s plenty. “Well I think there’s enough...”

You pause for a moment, looking around the room. The tension is palpable, even if you were ready to deal with them all you wouldn’t want to eat in this atmosphere. “I already ate. Thanks, though.” Without giving anyone a chance to respond, you hurry on to your room.

When the door shuts behind you, you walk forward and collapse on the bed. You take out your D.D.D. 26 unread messages now. You groan internally, but realize you should at least check if Beel or Belphegor had messaged you. And of course, they both had. One message from Belphegor and 4 from Beel.

Beel… sent more than you’d expect. It’s overwhelming just looking at the notification, the thought of having to talk to him after last night makes you feel sick. But either way, you have to deal with it eventually… And without a doubt, it’ll be easier than reading anything from Belphegor. You hesitate for a moment before opening the chat with Beel.

The first two are from last night, probably right after you left his room.

Beel: M/C, I didn’t know you remembered that. I don’t think Belphie did, either. That doesn’t change anything though.

Beel: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Please, can we talk in person when you’re ready?

You read through the others, they all were sent at various points throughout the day. Right after school started, and then another right after classes let out.

Beel: How are you doing today? Did you see the food I left for you?

Beel: Hopefully you’re doing okay, if you want I could take you to that gelato shop near RAD?

It’s hard to stay mad at him, honestly. He isn’t the one who killed you, in fact he’s one of the only brothers who hasn’t threatened you or tried to kill you in the four months you’ve been here. On your phone’s screen, you notice the three dots – Beel is typing something. _He must’ve noticed I read them, then…_

You wait with bated breath, wondering what he’s going to say. The dots stay on the screen for long enough that you begin to worry, at least 5 minutes of them appearing, disappearing, and reappearing again. When he finally sends the message it’s shorter than you would expect.

Beel: Will you at least talk to me? Even if it’s just to yell at me.

 _Does he know how much he’s hurting my heart right now? Geez…_ With a huff, you message back.

You: I won’t yell at you again. I don’t know what to do. It’s impossible for me to be near Belphegor now, and I’m upset because no one else seemed to care that I died. I get that he’s your brother, but…

You: Well anyways. We can talk in person, if you’d like. You can come to my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning all, I already had most of this chapter written which is why it went up fairly quick. BUT I work full time, take college classes full time, and have a 4 month old puppy. I don't really have an update schedule, but I'll aim for a chapter every 2 weeks or so?  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy the story so far!


	5. Chapter 5

Lucifer sits at his desk, papers lined up in front of him. Diavolo had asked him to work on the budget plan for the next year. His D.D.D sits charging next to the papers on the table, he does his best to ignore it but every few minutes of writing he finds himself glancing over, curiously and with slightly furrowed brows.

He sighs before continuing to work his way through the report. The words he’s written seem to blur in front of him as his mind wanders to you.

For once, he doesn’t know how to fix something. Still, he had tried reaching out to you but you hadn’t even opened the message. He decided that maybe you just need some time. He would never admit it, but Lucifer is grateful for what you’ve been doing for him and his brothers. The whole time you’ve been here, you’ve been optimistic, not always cheerful but at least putting on a brave face. Maybe they’d all taken that for granted. This is a difficult place for a human to be, after all.

You’re strong, and Lucifer knows that. He runs a hand through his hair, wracking his brain for how to fix this.

Last night had been the first time anyone here had seen you so upset. He hates to think it, but… you probably don’t want to stay.

With another sigh, he rubs his temples before picking up his D.D.D. He plans to text Diavolo, to see if you could be sent home early; maybe being back in the human world would help, you could be surrounded by people who know what to do, after all.

When he unlocks his D.D.D however, he sees one notification. From M/C. He hesitates a moment before opening it. He first sees the message he sent M/C earlier, just after breakfast.

Lucifer: It seems last night was rough for you. I let Diavolo know you’ll be taking today off, if you need anything else please let me know.

M/C: Beel shouldn’t have shared that with everyone. That said, I want to know why you all just ignored what happened.

M/C: You were all so happy to have Belphegor back that you didn’t care.

M/C: Why? And do I really mean that little to you?

Lucifer pauses for just a moment, considering how to respond. Finally, he begins typing.

Lucifer: Do you not remember what happened afterward? Of course you’ve become important to my family.

M/C: I didn’t ask about your brothers, I asked about you.

Lucifer sighs again and, with a grimace, he takes his time responding. Even for a demon, what’s happened to you could potentially be traumatic.

Lucifer: Of course, you’re important to me too. I didn’t think it needed to be said.

You don’t respond again. He huffs in irritation, but goes back to his paperwork.

* * *

Back in your room, you’ve got your thumbs poised over your D.D.D’s keyboard, about to respond, when there’s a knock at your door. The knocking sounds hesitant, different from when Beel normally visits you. _He’s more sensitive than he seems… he’s most likely still upset._

You stand up and head to the door. As it opens, you see Beel standing there – hand ready to knock again.

He almost looks surprised, but that settles into a frown. “M/C… I’m so sorry. You’ve always been okay with hugs, I just wanted to help you feel better.”

You can’t help but smile slightly and shake your head, “no Beel, you’re fine. I know you’d never hurt me. I told you before that you don’t have to ask, but… well that was before. I should have said something sooner.” You open the door all the way for him, “come on in.”

He steps through the door and you close it behind him. You walk over to the bed and sit down, patting the space next to you. You feel the bed sink under his weight and there’s silence.

You glance over at him, and his hands are fidgeting with the edge of his coat. He tries to say something, but pauses and chooses to stay silent. _If I don’t say anything, we’ll be here all night._ So, with a sigh, you start.

“Did you tell everyone? Or was that Belphegor?” You keep your eyes fixed on Beel, watching his reactions. He glances over at you and meets your eyes.

“I tried to lie. Lucifer wanted to know where you were, I told him you were up late last night; still sleeping in. But…” He glances down at the ground, “well, you know I’m a terrible liar. And Lucifer can see through all of us, anyways.”

Beel saying that he’s a bad liar is a serious understatement. He doesn’t seem to have a dishonest bone in his body. “I guess it’s not much of a surprise.”

He shifts for a minute and you see sadness in his eyes, “M/C, are… are you going to leave? Lucifer said you might after this.” His eyes meet yours again, “I don’t want you to leave. You always make my favorite foods, you bake for me, but it’s more than that. When I’m with you…” In the dim light it’s hard to tell, but you swear his cheeks are dusted pink, “when I’m with you the hunger doesn’t bother me as much.”

You take a deep, shaky breath. _If I didn’t know any better, coming from Beel I’d think that was a love confession! Geez…_ “I don’t want to leave. I was worried that I’m causing a problem, and… and that I might be forced to. Despite it all, this feels like home.” You cross your legs on the bed and lean back on your arms. It’s hard to resist the urge to bite your nails, but you’ve broken that habit dammit! No need for it anymore.

Beel looks at you curiously, “causing problems? M/C, it’s not your fault. You aren’t causing problems by telling us what’s wrong.”

Your eyes focus on the ground, “it’s… causing trouble for everyone. If I’d just kept quiet, then no one would worry… no one would be upset with me.”

He’s incredulous, “who’s upset with you? I’m not. I don’t think anyone is.” He pauses, then corrects himself, “well, I am a bit upset that you didn’t think you could tell me about this earlier. But that has nothing to do with how you’re feeling, you should have just told someone.”

A quick shake of your head, “well it doesn’t matter now, my secret’s out.” You let out a sardonic laugh. “Regardless… I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. You didn’t see his EYES, Beel! The way he looked at me…” A shudder works its way down your spine.

“Anyways… I just…” You sigh, struggling to find the words, “when I shielded you and Luke from Lucifer, well… Lucifer was just acting defensively. He didn’t hate me, he was just… trying to protect all of you. I don’t think he even realized entirely what he was doing.”

You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, and you take another deep breath, “I’m terrified of Belphegor. I thought for sure… if I said something, you would all hate me. I feel like… I’m stupid, or overreacting, but I can’t just stop being afraid!”

“M/C, you’re not stupid. And I doubt any of us could hate you, if… if Belphie had gotten a chance to know you, he never could have done that. You’re part of the family, now.” He sends a small smile your way, and you return it with a small chuckle.

“I especially feel stupid now, for ever being afraid of your reaction. Even by human standards, you’re a sweetheart.”

There’s a comfortable silence, during which you lean again Beel. He’s warmer than any human you’ve been near, he’s like a space heater. He smells like brownies, and you think for a moment that he must’ve gotten into the batch you made and froze a few days ago. With a near silent laugh, you break the silence. “Beel, I was saving those brownies. I made them so I could make a chocolate brownie ice cream soon.”

He’s shocked, “how did you know!?”

“Well…” Suddenly, you’re embarrassed to speak up, but with a shrug you manage. “You… smell like brownies.”

“Oh.”

He’s silent for a bit, before adding, “I… missed you. You were on cooking duty a few days ago, but asked Satan to cover for you… so I’ve been missing your cooking.” He looks a bit embarrassed.

“I guess it can’t be helped,” You laugh again, louder this time. “Tomorrow I’ll make some homemade cheeseburgers and curly fries for you. How does that sound?”

Instead of an answer, you hear his stomach growl. He nods enthusiastically, “It’s been a while since you’ve made that!”

“You deserve it. Plus… I’ve been craving curly fries lately. Didn’t know a near-death experience could do that to a person…” You shrug and it’s Beel’s turn to chuckle.

“So, uh… Beel.” You hesitate just long enough for him to look over at you again, “I’m worried about having another nightmare…” You shift slightly and feel heat rising to your face as you look away. “Would you stay here with me tonight? It sounds like you need to go get a snack first, but… you can come back after that. I mean, only if you want.”

He furrows his brow in confusion, “I wouldn’t mind, but… sleeping in the chair or on the floor wouldn’t be comfortable.”

“Beel, seriously?” You huff, face burning brighter, “obviously I meant that we could share the bed. It’s small, but… I’m sure we can manage somehow.”

You shift a bit and move so you’re sitting upright again, arms crossed. “If that makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to…” _Of course he doesn’t want to share a bed. Idiot. Idiot! Ugh, why am I like this?!?_

He doesn’t take any time at all to respond, which surprises you. “Okay. As long as you’re comfortable with that.” His stomach growls again.

“Go get some food, and uh… I guess get ready for bed. I’ll see you soon.”

It takes a while for him to return, you spend the time changing into pajamas and staring at the screen of your D.D.D. You open up the chat app and stare at Belphegor’s name, not opening the messages just… staring.

Beel does, eventually return. You help him get the snacks laid out on your desk, he’s in a loose fitting tank top and some warm looking green and black pajama pants. You wonder if he was upset by your staring last night…

As he eats, you watch. It’s almost impressive how much he can eat, and how fast. You feel almost jealous that he can eat that much and still be so muscular.

“So, uh… is that offer for gelato still on the table?” You ask him, both because you want to spend time with him and because gelato sounds really good. He just nods in response, mouth full. You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself. “I think… well… I trust you. So. Could we invite Belphegor? And… Well…” You look at your feet, “if you’re around, I think I’ll feel safe enough to talk to him. Or… at least I’ll try.”

Beel stops eating and turns towards you. He swallows the food in his mouth, and you swear you can almost see his eyes sparkling, “really? You’ll talk to him?”

You nod, “I’ll give it a shot, at least. Will you let me be the one to invite him, though?”

“Yeah, of course,” Beel’s smiling brightly your way, and you can’t help but return it.

While waiting for Beel to finish eating, you finally manage to open up the chat with Belphegor. You’re surprised that it’s not another selfish request.

Belphegor: You should have told me.

You: I’m not talking about this through text. Instead…

You: You see, Beel and I are going for gelato tomorrow.

You pause before finishing your request, and in that time he sends another text.

Belphegor: Um, okay? Why are you texting me about it?

You: I… want to invite you too. If Beel’s there, I’ll feel safer.

He doesn’t respond immediately. But when he does you feel anxiety bubbling in your chest.

Belphegor: Sounds like a hassle, but… okay. If that’s how you want to do this.

You close the app without responding and plug your phone in. Looking towards Beel you see he’s watching you, intently. The food on the table is finished, and you aren’t sure how long he’s been staring. You let him know Belphegor will be joining the two of you, and Beel seems nearly ecstatic. In fact, you think this is the happiest you’ve seen him since the truth of your lineage was revealed.

The two of you clean up, turn the lights down, and you let him get comfortable in bed before joining him. He asks if it’s okay to hold you and, hesitantly, you nod and try to prepare yourself. When his arms first wrap around you gently, you feel that panic rise up again and your heart begins to race. You focus on taking deep breaths, and Beel must notice because he starts rubbing circles on your side. “Shh, it’s okay M/C. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” He keeps reassuring you, in a quiet voice, and soon the panic screaming at you begins to subside. You press your hands against his chest, initially ready to push him away if necessary, but you’re soon preoccupied with thoughts of what the rest of him feels like in your hands. You bury your face into the space between his neck and shoulder, hoping he doesn’t notice.

A yawn escapes your mouth and Beel pulls you closer against his chest. You move your arms around to his back, not quite able to wrap all the way around him. Your eyes begin to close, but you suddenly remember something that you’d wanted to ask since Belphegor had attacked you. “Beel… if I had died that day, if Barbatos hadn’t been able to save me…” Your voice gets quieter, and you mumble the last part, “would you even care?”

He doesn’t respond at first, you wonder if he’s sleeping. But then you hear his voice, calm and soothing, “I don’t know. But… Belphie would be locked up, maybe killed. And you wouldn’t be here anymore, I’d miss both of you. Of course I would care.” His arms tighten slightly around you, and with a shaky breath he adds, “of course I care about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't super love the whole, M/C is a descendant of Lilith thing, but... honestly it works for the story I think. And technically none of them are actually related, not in the human sense anyways. Ah well.
> 
> Also, just so you all know, I read all the comments and really appreciate all the support!! I'm grateful for all the kudos too, and the people who read but don't leave anything. Thank you!!
> 
> Ooh and if anyone knows where I can get the Obey Me chat template I see some fics using, can you send it to me please?? I've been looking for it for a while and can't seem to find it D:


	6. Chapter 6

Mammon wakes up, drenched in sweat and panting for the third time this week. He can still remember the weight of your body in his arms, the glassy, dead look in your eyes, the feeling of you draped unnaturally over his arms, the awkward bend in your back, and the feeling of shattered bones just beneath your skin. He shivers, sitting upright in bed. He speaks into the silence, under his breath, desperately needing something to ground himself back in reality. “Argh, why do I have t’ care about some dumb human!” He shakes his head, hoping to erase the memory. “He’s alive, though. He’s alive.”

Mammon picks up his phone and looks at your contact picture, and reads through the last conversation you’d had with him. So mundane, but from earlier this week. _M/C’s safe. I know he’s safe._

Still, the memory is too vivid, too real. And he feels an overwhelming need to go check on you.

He gets dressed and heads towards your room, once there he knocks a few times. “Oi, M/C, you in there?” Of course there’s no answer, it’s the middle of the night and you’re probably sleeping. _Or dead._ He can’t stop the thought, and with a deep breath opens the door quietly and peeks in. He sees Beel wrapped around you, and can just barely make out your shape in Beel’s arms.

In a stage whisper he tries to get your attention, “You up? Hey, you should listen when I’m talking t’ya!” At that he sees you shift and turn towards him with a quiet sigh, and can make out the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe slowly in your sleep. _Good… he’s safe._

Mammon knows he should turn around and go back to his own room, but he’s your first man! _If I had been there with him, I could have protected him. So, clearly, the best place for me to be is right here!_

With that, Mammon takes off his shirt, throws it on the ground, and climbs into the bed next to you. He pushes you and Beel over, so you’re both closer to the wall. Beel’s back is pressed against the wall, and Mammon’s right on the edge of the bed… but at least this way he can keep you safe. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Asmo waits for Lucifer to do room checks, and then sneaks out of the house. He’s all dressed up, ready to have a good time! The mood at the House of Lamentation has been so tense and frustrating ever since Belphie came back, and Asmo is ready to let loose.

Since there’s not much to focus on during the walk to The Fall, his thoughts drift to you… but even once there, he can’t stop thinking of you! He chats up some cute succubus that he meets, but really just can’t get into it. There’s no reason for him to be thinking about someone besides himself this much, and yet he can’t stop himself.

With a sigh he finishes his third drink, but this succubus is droning on and on and on, and the noise in the club is overwhelming. _Another first,_ he thinks with a frustrated groan.

The succubus huffs, says something else he doesn’t quite catch, and leaves. Asmo stares into his drink. _I should be with him. Now more than ever._ With that he downs his fourth drink, face flushed, and stands up to leave.

Upon arriving back home, he manages to get back inside without being caught and heads straight to your room. Without knocking he comes in, “darling, I know you must have missed me these past few days~ I thought I should grace you with my presence!” He’s wobbling and says that a bit louder than he perhaps should have.

Without much thought he strips out of his clothes, goes to your bathroom to wash his face, and then collapses on top of the three of you.

* * *

When your eyes open the next morning, there’s a moment of panic; you feel two sets of arms wrapped around you and a weight above you – someone’s spooning you, another person is holding you so close that you can’t move, and there’s someone laying on top of you. Instinctively, you try to push away, though there’s nowhere to go, and your chest tightens. Tears prick at your eyes, _he’s here, he’s here, he’s gonna kill me, oh gods someone help!_ But you feel one set of arms loosen slightly and hear Beel’s voice near whispering behind you, “M/C, it’s just me. You’re safe.”

You take a few deeps, shaky breaths, trying to calm yourself. And soon, you find your heartbeat returns to normal and breathing isn’t quite so difficult.

Once calm, you process the situation. Mammon is laying in front of you, snoring. And the person behind you is Beel. After the panic subsides, it feels like being wrapped in a cocoon. Warm, cozy, soft. The two demons curled around you makes it hard to want to move at all.

You lay there for a few moments more, not wanting to say anything yet and ruin the moment. Your alarm will eventually go off… but in this moment, you just want to enjoy feeling the warmth and comfort. It’s hard to remember the last time you felt this safe.

Sadly, this moment can’t last forever. You feel Beel’s stomach growl more than hear it, and he shifts, you wish you could enjoy this a bit longer, but all good things must eventually end. He yawns and you feel his arms move away. You roll over and see Beel stretching, his well-toned abs peeking out from the bottom of his shirt. “Morning”, he greets you, voice slightly deeper than usual from sleep.

“Good morning.” You smile slightly, “you must be a good luck charm. I slept through the night, no bad dreams.” You yawn and try to sit up, but then you remember… someone’s there.

You turn your head to look and Asmo is draped over the top of you and Mammon, limbs sprawled out and mouth slightly open. _Is he… drooling?_ You stifle a laugh and reach for your D.D.D. before taking a picture.

Beel sits up and the movement makes you look, he’s glaring at Asmo but you can’t quite tell why. He shakes Asmo by the shoulder, “wake up and put some clothes on.”

He whines in his sleep and opens his eyes slightly, “Huh…? Beel?” He looks at Beel, then down at you. Suddenly last night’s events flood back to him and he just smiles at you before kissing your cheek, “good morning, doll~”

Your face, meanwhile, is flushed. _Is Asmo wearing anything…? I hope so, but…_ You shake your head, trying to erase the mental image… and trying to ignore the fact that you wouldn’t really be too upset if he were.

Asmo puts a hand on either side of your head and stretches his back in a walrus stretch and you hear his back pop. He’s shirtless at least, and you glance down his chest. You manage to get a glance at his lower stomach, hairless, before he laughs softly. “Eyes up here, darling~” There’s a playful tone in his voice, and you know he doesn’t really mind you staring. Still you look up to meet his eyes.

At that point, Mammon mumbles something in his sleep before rolling over in his sleep… and falling straight onto the floor. He wakes up immediately, yelling. “What the hell!? Who did that?”

You stifle a laugh. “Mammon, you weren’t pushed – you just fell.”

“Yeah RIGHT! The GREAT Mammon would never fall out of bed!” He stands and takes in the scene. “Asmo, get dressed for fuck’s sake! No one wants to see…” He motions generally at Asmo, “…all that!”

“I’d rather luxuriate in bed here, with our dearest human! But we do have class today, and I must get ready. Alas, we must part here my dear~ But I’ll see you today, right?” You just nod, and he stands dramatically, giving you a good view of… everything. You sit up. There’s not time to look away and your face heats up at the sight. Beel covers your eyes with a hand before you can see too much though. Asmo leans in towards you, giving you a kiss on your other cheek, before gathering his clothes up in his arms and leaving.

There’s a few moments of silence before your alarm goes off. You switch it off, “well that was interesting.”

The rest of the morning goes by in a blur. Mammon is as loud as ever, and nearly glued to your side. But eventually you convince him to leave, and Beel goes to his room as well. Once alone you think over your options. _If I don’t go to breakfast I might worry them… And I’m feeling a bit better today. Maybe I can handle it? Either way, they’re only going to keep acting weird if I don’t do something about this…_

And so, you go through your morning routine. Showering, brushing your teeth, and getting dressed up in your uniform. You take a glance at yourself in the mirror and try to smile at yourself, but admittedly it’s hard; thinking about going to breakfast with them at all is overwhelming, but…

You sigh and realize Satan was right; you need to face them eventually, and do something about it. Moping and avoiding them won’t help. You realize something else, too. They all care about you, even though most of them are absolute garbage at showing it… they care. And so, once ready, you head towards the dining room.

You hear the brothers all talking as you head down the hallway, but when you get there they all fall silent and look towards you. The only two missing are Levi and Belphegor. You take your usual spot between Mammon and Beel, and you fill up your plate. When you look up, you realize everyone is staring at you.

Lucifer smiles, “feeling better today?”

“Yeah, I slept really well last night.” You try and return the smile, but know it doesn’t reach your eyes. Taking a bite of your food, you look around the table and everyone’s gone back to eating, but there’s no banter.

Levi walks into the room and freezes when he sees you. You decide to take the initiative, “Levi, there’s a raid in Mononoke Land tomorrow. Wanna join me?”

He nods, eyes lighting up. “Yeah! It’s to celebrate the release of a new spirit type. I’m sooo excited!” And with that, he takes his place at the table on the other side of Beel. They all begin to chat with one another again, and finally you feel like there’s some semblance of normalcy.

“M/C, I got the notes from the classes you missed yesterday. Care to study with me after we get home?” Satan looks towards you.

You hesitate, “it depends on when. I have plans with Beel and Belphegor right after school. But after that, I’m free if there’s time.”

He nods and smiles at you, “well just let me know when you’re finished then and we can go to the library together.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

The rest of breakfast passes by, and you’re surprised that you don’t see Belphegor… but you figure he’s probably just asleep. You leave for school with Satan, as you finish eating right around the same time. The walk to school is pleasant, he talks to you about the new drama that’s coming out soon and asks if you want to watch it with him, and of course you agree. For the first time since your death, you've got some fun activities you're actually looking forward to. For the first time, you've managed to almost forget about what happened - if only for a short time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeee procrastinating during finals week! I'm sure this won't go horribly wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

Morning classes pass by slowly, you find yourself glancing at your phone over and over, and each time you find it’s only been a minute or two. With a groan you plant your cheek against the cold desk, listening to the teacher drone on and on and on.

_What am I even supposed to say?_

For a moment you find yourself regretting to meet with Belphegor. Is there anything that will make this right? Is there anything to say? Anything he can do to make you feel safe around him? Anything that will convince you to forgive him? _Well… I have to try._ You sigh. _No, I want to try. I get along with his brothers. I want to get along with him too._

You rest your chin on an arm and watch the teacher absentmindedly, lost in your thoughts.

Finally, the bell wakes you out of your trance. _Ah, shit…_ You look at what’s supposed to be your notes and see that instead, you’d been doodling. You quickly close the notebook and shove it in your backpack.

Upon looking up, you see that Mammon’s approaching you and, just like that, the two of you are walking to the cafeteria together.

He’s been holding your hand the entire time, and of course you notice but decide not to say anything. Instead, once most of the other demons have left the hallway, you take a deep breath before speaking up. “Mammon, are you okay?”

“What the hell do ya mean? ‘Course I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?” He looks indignant but you notice the hint of red on the tips of his ears and try your hardest not to laugh.

Instead of laughing, you just smile reassuringly, “oh c’mon, I won’t tell anyone. And I definitely won’t judge you.”

“W-well, it’s just…” He gazes down, with an uncharacteristically soft look on his face. But within seconds it’s gone, _did I imagine it?_ And he’s looking back up at you, self-assured expression returned. “It’s not like I care about ya or anything, so don’t get the wrong idea! But y’know, Lucifer would have my head if somethin’ happened to ya! Thought it’d be best if I looked out for ya last night, make sure you’re safe.”

You smirk at him, “oh so you just… don’t care at all then? Hm?”

“’Course not! The GREAT Mammon would never care ‘bout a human.” He looks at you seriously for a moment and opens his mouth to say something, but then a door opens somewhere in the hallway in front of you both and he swallows whatever he was about to say.

With a small, knowing smile, you squeeze his hand tighter. “Uh-huh, yeah. I totally believe you right now.”

He looks at you indignantly, “hey, are ya makin’ fun of me!?”

“Noooo, I would never~!” The sarcastic tone in your voice says otherwise. Before Mammon can protest however, you release his hand and turn towards him in one motion. “Hey, we’ll make a bet. If I can beat you to the cafeteria, you have to admit you’re glad I’m still alive!”

“Oh, you’re- Hey wait! That’s cheating!” You take off before he can finish his sentence, running as fast as you can. You doubt you can actually beat a demon in a race, but hey you’re close enough to the cafeteria that you have a slim chance.

You feel your feet pounding on the concrete of the floor, and can hear Mammon catching up in record time. The two of you zoom past Simeon and Luke, and you know Mammon’s gaining on you without even looking back. Finally, though, the door to the cafeteria comes into sight.

Just as you reach it though, you hear Mammon shout something from just behind you. You don’t have time to process before you feel him collide into you and the two of you go tumbling into the cafeteria, rolling across the floor together.

You’re breathing heavy, looking up at him, limbs tangled together. You know you’ll have bruises in the morning, but it’s so worth it. You feel laughter bubbling up in your chest and he joins you, and when you’ve both finished he whispers something in your ear.

“Don’t leave me again.”

There’s silence surrounding the two of you in the cafeteria, before you hear a frustrated sigh, and Levi cracking up.

You glance around and see Lucifer sitting at a table with all the other brothers, rubbing his temples and glaring at the two of you. Asmo’s busy taking pictures, Levi’s narrating his post on Devilgram. If Beel notices, he doesn’t show it. And Belphie’s nowhere to be seen. A look around the rest of the room reveals that pretty much everyone’s eyes are on the two of you.

“Mammon, we should probably get up.”

“O-oh! Yeah.” You both manage to untangle your limbs and head towards the table with his brothers.

* * *

That evening after school, you stand in your bathroom in front of the mirror. You take a deep breath and look yourself in the eyes. “It’s going to be okay. Beel’s there, he’ll keep me safe. We’re going somewhere public. Even if he does somehow get his hands on me, there isn’t much he can do.”

You can feel your hands shaking, so you close your eyes and take a deep breath. And then, another. After spending probably five minutes like that, you still feel your hands shaking… but a bit less. _Well I guess that’s the best I can do…_

If you stay here any longer, you know you’ll probably cancel… so you turn and walk back into your bedroom, and then into the hall, trying hard not to think about the conversation or what you’ll say.

Each step you take makes you feel sick, and you have to pause once you can see Belphegor in the entryway. But then, Beel comes into view too. A few more deep breaths forces the anxiety down, or at least placate it for a moment, and you head towards them with a wave and a smile. “Hey guys!”

Belphegor waves at you, lazily, and Beel offers a smile. You exchange greetings and then head on your way, Beel in between you and Belphegor.

It’s quiet for a while, you feel your anxiety bubbling in your chest again, but before you can full on panic Beel speaks up. “I’m glad you agreed to go with me! I know we’ve been before, but it was just so good.”

You smile and nod in agreement, “yeah, I was worried about the snake venom flavor but… well I know you have good taste, and I’m glad I tried it! There’s so many options though…”

“You can always order every flavor.”

You laugh, “Beel, even if I did I wouldn’t be able to finish all that. It’d be a waste!”

“Well you know Beel would help you finish it, without question,” Belphegor adds, “In fact, he might just try to steal some before you’ve finished eating.”

You feel your response die on your tongue, but thankfully Beel steps in and says something to fill any potential awkward silence, “absolutely.” He punctuates his statement with a nod and you chuckle quietly to yourself.

The rest of the walk is filled with casual conversation, usually between you and Beel but every now and again Belphegor interjects. Every time he does, his voice gives you less and less anxiety, and eventually you’re bantering along with him. It feels almost comfortable.

You all finally reach the shop and sit down in a booth. You take the window seat, Beel sits next to you, and Belphegor sits across from you both. It takes a while for all of you to order, but you manage and then… there’s silence. You’re looking anywhere but across the table.

Belphegor sighs, “look, M/C, if you have something to say then just say it.”

You practically stare a hole in the table and suddenly, the air feels too thin. But you manage to calm yourself down, at least enough to talk. “What you did… was wrong. You made assumptions about me, and took your anger out on me. But what happened to Lilith, and what happened to you, wasn’t my fault! I know you were hurting, and isolation is literally considered torture in the human world… it drives people mad.

“But regardless, you did something unforgivable… and there’s nothing that can be done to truly erase that. I remember it, your brothers remember it, you remember it. It happened. I know you just were looking for, for…”

You pause, not daring to look up, “for closure. Someone to take your anger out on. Someone to blame. But killing me was wrong, and I’m terrified of you now! You said, just the next day, that you wanted to hang out… well if you wanted to be my friend, you should have thought about that before crushing me to death!” You realize at this point, your voice has gotten louder and a quick look around the room reveals that there’s quite a few demons looking towards your table.

With a deep breath, you open your mouth to continue, but the waiter comes by and delivers the gelato. You wait patiently for him to leave, despite the fact that you know you’re already causing a scene.

You try to keep your voice quieter, calmer this time. “I know you’re a demon, and murder is probably not as big of a deal to anyone here… but… regardless, you shouldn’t have manipulated me, used me, then killed me.” Half-jokingly, you add, “honestly I think you may have broken Mammon too. He’s been super clingy.”

Now that you’ve said your piece, it feels like there’s been a weight lifted. You take a few bites of your gelato, and let your words sink in.

After a few minutes, you hazard a glance at Belphegor. He isn’t actually eating his gelato yet, just moving it around with his spoon. His eyes meet yours, and suddenly you feel incredibly vulnerable… but the malice from before isn’t there. He looks… almost nervous if anything. “So? What do you need from me to fix this?”

At this, you look up towards him. You attempt to sound confident, and firm, but your words come out slightly shaky. “I want an apology. A genuine one.”

He blinks once. Then twice. “What?”

Suddenly you’re self-conscious. “You know, an… apology. I want to know you regret it. And are sorry.”

He looks like he’s trying to hold back laughter, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Is… that all M/C? Just an apology?”

With a huff, you respond, “well, I don’t know! What am I supposed to want? It’s a start, at least…”

His lips form a smile, and he nods, “alright. If that’s all, then fine.” There’s a serious look in his eyes as he takes a deep breath, then continues.

“M/C, I can’t take back what I did. I hurt you, physically and emotionally, and that was wrong. There’s nothing I can say to change what happened, but I’m truly sorry and I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. I vow to never harm you again. Will you please consider forgiving me?”

The look on his face is sincere, heartfelt, and you know that he’s telling the truth. “Even if I forgive you, I… don’t know that I can ever forget. I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable around you.”

He nods, but you see him wince at your words. “I understand that. But... I don’t know what else to do.”

You purse your lips, thinking. And then, come to a decision. “Well, you know what? Time heals all wounds, as they say. And…” You pause here, thinking of your next words. “I don’t want to be mad at you, or scared of you. I’m not leaving the Devildom yet, and I can’t hide from you forever. So how about this… We spend time together. Initially with someone else there too. But eventually, I’ll probably get more comfortable.”

“And Belphie, if it doesn’t work well… we can figure something else out. How does that sound?” You reach out a hand towards his, and he takes it with a nod and bright smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah this chapter took so long! I knew how I wanted it to go about a week and a half ago, but had finals and then had trouble writing it out.
> 
> Only one more chapter to go!


End file.
